What about 9 yrs? Well, today is our 9 yr wedding anniversary. Unfortunately, that is no small feat these days...especially when you get married at 19 & 20. It's funny to look back at all of the people (including our so-called friends) who told us we would never make it because we were so young. Of course, those are also the people who were just convinced we were pregnant and that was the only reason we were getting married...boy were they surprised 9 months later when we still didn't have any kids.
Sadly, most of them couldn't understand why we were getting married. They couldn't comprehend that we might actually love each other and enjoy being around each other. Another sad fact is that of all of our friends that got married that year (4 other couples), we are the only one's that are still married. Does that make us perfect or better than anyone else? No, but it obviously says something about our relationship and our priorities in life. Has it all been fun and games? No. Afterall, we are two imperfect (and sometimes stubborn) human beings...but overall it has been great and I would not change a thing. There will always be down times...but the real challenge is to make the good times outweigh the bad. Your life (and marriage) is what you make it.
Besides being very blessed, one reason that I think we have a happy marriage is that we didn't go in with the idea that we were going to change each other. We were best friends who fell in love and decided to spend the rest of our lives together...not a couple of people in "puppy love" who said: 'If I marry him, I can get him to stop hitting me' or 'I know I met her when she was wasted in the bar, but I can make her stop drinking after we get married'.
I'm no marriage expert and I don't give other people marital advice...I just let my marriage and the relationship with my wife & kids speak for itself. Not to mention the fact that the last people I introduced to each other ended up getting married and then divorced within 2 yrs. Of course, in my defense, we were all still in high school and I wasn't trying to hook them up.
So what did we do on our 9 yr anniversary you might ask? Well, technically nothing. No fancy dinners or presents...we just spent time together (I know...that's crazy talk). We lounged around the house, played with our kids, watched football (yes, she is a good wife) and played Wii. Now that you think I'm some un-romantic caveman, we normally go out for a date night. The only problem with this year is that we just relocated to a new town 3 months ago and don't know any babysitters. With a 7 yr old and a 9 month old, you can't exactly let them babysit themselves. ;) I guess when your wife is also your best friend, you can have fun doing 'nothing'.
Am I dillusional enough to think that all marriages should be this way? Well, I guess I am enough of a "romantic" and a wishful thinker that I hope there are others out there who are truly happily married. Unfortunately, I'm realistic enough to know that not every marriage works...no matter how great they started out. For example, my brother was just recently divorced and I have to say that a divorce was the best thing for their situation. Thankfully, there were no children involved. I realize there are many situations where people should get out, I just wish it wasn't necessary. I also think that some of them can be avoided if people would pay attention to the warning signs. I love my brother, but there were obvious (and medically diagnosed) warning signs that should have been heeded...but he thought love could conquer all. Add the 'warning signs' to some mistakes and you get a divorce.
That's enough rambling about all of that...
So, 9 years down and many more to go. If my wife reads this (and she'll probably be the only one), thank you for the past 9 years and I'm looking forward to the rest. You are my best friend, my soul mate and you make me a better person everday. I'm looking forward to us sitting on the front porch in our rocking chairs arguing about whether or not I put your false teeth in by mistake. ;)
- Me
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